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LaNiedra Chaney's avatar

This brings back the term, a man will only do what you allow. When their is an unfamiliar issue with his car, he takes the time to figure it out. If not, he takes the car to the mechanic to get a further diagnostic. Men are problem solvers, to weaponize domestic labor or anything he does not want to do is manipulation. Women need to stop acting like his mom and start making these be an equal participate in the partnership. Great essay Jen. 👌

Jennifer Heinen's avatar

A man will only do what you allow. Holy fuck I need to steal that phrasing!! 😂

but seriously, its so true. They cross boundaries through incompetence? well I guess it gets less comfortable then 😉

LaNiedra Chaney's avatar

Women need to start making it uncomfortable for men to use this type of behavior against them. I find that women are too compromising with things and situations men are not willing to step up to the plate and show his leadership within the household. It often starts at the beginning of the relationship. That is were women need to set precedence of their boundaries. 😊

Jennifer Heinen's avatar

Oh my god I can't agree more!!!

Deborah Federico's avatar

Thank you for this story, and for all of your insight.

Jody Van Rein's avatar

Jennifer, I can't even get past the first few sentences on this one. He wakes up, shows himself as a self centered fuck who leans towards self pity, and she follows him. End of female intelligence occurs in this story. Also, its the story of my love life after abuse.

So nice to hear from your fired up self again.

jen's avatar

♥️

Noa Linden's avatar

"your competence is not a life sentence."

that sentence deserves to be on a wall somewhere. the whole essay builds to it — the crossing of the world, the sleeping prince, the laundry as the actual magic — and then that lands and reframes everything.

the tallow stain as the thing that broke a curse is the detail that makes this piece work. not a sword, not a spell. laundry. and the fact that it's laundry is the point, not incidental to it.

also "he picked the right woman for the wash cycle" is one of the funniest and most devastating sentences i've read this year.